Approved by the Guild of Bathhouse Keepers, Dark Ages is the go-to soap manufacturer for those who insist on the occasional bathing. For best results apply to clean skin with a generous slathering of grime or mud. Remember: Cleanliness can lead to terrible health and demonic possession, so it's best to be filthy, healthy and happy.
Dark Ages Soap - "It dulls as it dries."
WARNING: Bathe once a week maximum.